The term ego is used to refer to a person\u2019s sense of \u2018self\u2019. It encompasses their thoughts and feelings, including their self-esteem and sense of self-importance. We all have an ego. A healthy ego is a good thing because it boosts our self-confidence, pushing us to confront or overcome our fears. People want to follow leaders who have a healthy ego. On the other hand, having a \u2018big\u2019 or \u2018inflated\u2019 ego can have a detrimental impact on our decision-making and cause us to become arrogant, boastful and entitled. Leaders with oversized egos can easily alienate the people in their teams and struggle to get the best out of them. Effective ego management is essential to being a good leader. So, with today being World Ego Day, what should leaders know about managing their own ego?<\/p>\n
1. Let go of being right all the time<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cIn every organization, I see leaders who are suffering from ego-driven control-freakery,\u201d says Richard Nugent, author of\u00a0The Alignment Advantage: Transform Your Strategy, Culture and Customers to Succeed<\/em>. \u201cThey work every hour and make every decision. Their best people move on as they feel disempowered. These leaders are left with more people who aren\u2019t ready, or willing, to challenge them.\u201d<\/p>\n To combat this problem, Nugent believes that leaders \u201cmust be willing to let go of being right all of the time\u201d. He explains: \u201cThe overplayed ego drives us to give all of the answers and impart our wisdom, which limits our people\u2019s ability to develop strategically and culturally. The humble leader can give direction and establish accountability, but also let go of how their people deliver what is required.\u201d<\/p>\n 2. Show vulnerability<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cAn unhealthy ego will impact emotional intelligence and the ability to build meaningful connections,\u201d warns Natalie Boudou, an executive coach, CEO of international consultancy HumanForce and author of\u00a0HumanForce: The Power of Emotions in a Changing Workplace<\/em>.<\/em><\/p>\n Leaders can manage their egos by paying attention to the triggers that can make them feel defensive or fearful (signs that their egos are getting in the way). \u201cNoticing the emotions that we feel when our egos have been touched can give us the space to choose how we wish to respond rather than react in our usual manner,\u201d Boudou explains.<\/p>\n Boudou describes vulnerability as an \u201cantidote to an unhealthy ego\u201d and the \u201ckey to authentic leadership\u201d. She says: \u201cFrom vulnerability comes humility, which is the strength to admit that you might be wrong, that you don\u2019t have all the answers and that you may need help to succeed. A humble person is more concerned about what is right than being right and allows team members to contribute ideas and be part of the team\u2019s success.\u201d<\/p>\n 3. Learn from others<\/strong><\/p>\n Unfortunately, inflated egos can make leaders blind to their own weaknesses and flaws. This can be detrimental to their effectiveness and career advancement since they struggle to recognize and address the areas that need improvement.<\/p>\n \u201cOvercoming these two challenges relies on developing self-awareness and being willing to learn from others,\u201d advises Antoinette Oglethorpe, director of\u00a0Antoinette Oglethorpe, a professional training and coaching company specializing in career management and mentoring. \u201cBut that\u2019s\u00a0<\/strong>easier said than done. If a leader really wants to manage their ego, it is worth considering working with an executive coach to get some support.\u201d<\/p>\n 4. Ask questions<\/strong><\/p>\n \u201cWhen it comes to selling, business leaders need to remember that their clients are looking for signals and cues on who they are dealing with,\u201d says Rob King, founder and CEO of business development service The Client Key and author of\u00a0Selling Creativity: How Creatives and Agencies Can Grow their Business through the Art of Sales<\/em>.<\/em>\u00a0The questions that clients are likely to be asking themselves include: Can I trust this person? Are they genuine? And do I\u00a0like\u00a0<\/em>them?<\/p>\n \u201cAny conversation, or transaction, can\u2019t simply be a one-way street,\u201d King explains. \u201cThere has to be a two-way flow of information to build rapport, empathy and trust between both parties. In essence, we need to bring something of ourselves to the party. A healthy sense of ego can play an important part in this process.\u201d<\/p>\n King recommends asking questions. \u201cIt\u2019s a simple habit to practice,\u201d he says, \u201cand one that will help in any situation, business or personal. Start your big open questions with \u2018what…\u2019, \u2018how…\u2019 or \u2018tell me..\u2019 and you will instantly get the other person opening up and talking. Just remember to share back \u2013 always appropriately \u2013 in response.\u201d<\/p>\n